Thursday, December 29, 2011

Precursor to 2012

I‘ve had a sort of an awakening within me. I know what I like and what to do ,
with the clear goal of making the year of 2012 the best year it can be for me.

I wish to become the best I can be. I‘ve just started my progressive book of 2012.
This is just the ramp up to get me started so I can more fluently get into
my program of improving my fitness ,studying and general appeal more.

Loosely following the "Last Year Of Your Life" idea ,I will synchronize
and prepare the best I can so that I may get the most out of the year of 2012.

I‘m starting to get into yoga somewhat and some simple fitness excercises.
Keeping diaries and this blog updated should help me to better organize myself.

I‘ve had long ,cold ,walks in the snow. I‘ve sorted through my presents
and put things in the right places ,reorganizing a bit in the process.

I will choose the best ways and solve things as I go ,to achieve the best results.
When things get tough I‘ll ask for assistance and I‘m sure I‘ll have lots of help.

Its still snowing around here and the clouds are looking marvellous.

I meant to post this a lot earlier ,but my internet connection keeps getting cut off.
So far its been very difficult to see a good way to move out into my own place ,
in which I‘d have my own internet connection and better means to do what I‘d like.

One of my main goals for 2012 is to change all of that. I‘m moving out next year ,
even if I have to build my own place from the ground up. I‘ve had that idea in mind
for long but imagined it to be further out when I‘d have gathered more resources.

I had another dream about a ufo which I drew three times in the dream.
Then there was also one in which I met a girl who liked me. She was kinda teasy.

Around the new year‘s crossing ,fireworks are sold here quite freely by those who
go on expeditions to save people that have gotten stranded or lost in the wild.

The city is lit up by them fireworks year after year around this time. I like thems.
I use fireworks less and less ,not only because they‘re expensive and last short ,
but also because most accidents surrounding thems are rather severe.

Still ,them fireworks do lots for this time of the year as the excitement mounts.
They look colorful and pretty. I might get me some flares...those last a lil longer :3

There are also these fireworks which have flares in thems which float around
in a parachute. I like collecting them parachutes when I can as those are very nifty.

Recently I found an old hard drive of mine ,with files on it reaching all the way back
to 2003 when I first got a proper internet connection. Some nifty things I found
on it made me realize how different things were back then.

Lately I‘ve learned lots of new things and gained lots of new preferences.
Things are far better than they used to be and I‘m sure that as I learn more
and gain better insights into what I genuinely like ,things will be better stiil.

With more femininity ,more technology ,greater understanding of how things work
and how things are made and more refined art skills than ever before ,
I‘ll come to be able to tackle all sorts of things I like that until now have mostly
been out of my reach or limited by conditions and boundaries which are now fading.

I‘m feeling the change already...this is going to be my best year so far ,by far.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Its been the whitest of Yuletides this Christmas

Honestly ,this whole month of December has been snowy around where I live
and on the 24th which is like the main event of Christmas in Iceland ,
the whole country is covered with snow ,even the islands off its coast!

The 25th is more like a resting day afterwards ,but we open the presents 24th ,
generally at least. 25th is Christmas day / Yuleday and 26th is 2nd of Yules ,
or Boxing day ,which is a date I kind of like ,as I can attribute fun things to it. :3

In Iceland ,there was a legend of trolls in the mountains who had sons which
went out and did mischief in villages. There were 13 of them and each one
was named after a certain trait unique to each as they preffered different things.

This is the tale of the 13 Santas ,or the so called Yulelads. Their mother ,Grýla ,
be a horrible troll with terrifying looks and bad habits like eating newborn babies.
Their father was the dumbest oaf of a troll and a wandering goof named Leppalúði.

Leppar happens to mean Tatters (as in tattered clothes) and Lúði means a Loser.
The old ugly troll hag Grýla had a cat ,terrifyingly long black figure which would
appear to be able to do most incredible things ,having a craving taste for nudies.

The 13 sons eventually gave up their mischief and started leaving goodies out
for nice people instead. Sneaking around and putting things into windowsills
and empty idle shoes. For meanies they‘d sometimes leave rotten potatoes.

Here are the names of the Yulelads along with some of their unique traits ;

First one ,Stekkjastaur or "Gimpy" as he be dubbed by english speakers ,
be a very long lad. He‘d shake and be clumsy ,often removing fences and poles.

Second one was called Giljagaur ,which means one who hides in gorges.
"Gilly Oaf" he be sometimes called ,as he be very oaf-like as his father.

Third one was tiny! That‘s why he was called Stúfur which means shorty ,
which made him be called names as "Itty Bitty" or in Japanese ,the "Chibi"

Fourth one kept licking spoons and various tools for eating with which had
caught some leftovers that he‘d fancy. That‘s why they call him Þvörusleikir
or "Ladle Licker" as you could most often tell who he was by his lickings.

Fifth one went even further than his brother and licked pots of various kinds ,
which is why we call him Pottasleikir or "Pot Licker". Fancy that <.<

Another one yet who licked was the Sixth one. He‘d lick bowls as the pots
were too deep to his liking and eating tools weren‘t quite enough for him.
That‘s why he be named Askasleikir or "Bowl Licker" because of his bowl fetish.

Next one or the Seventh ,was very loud. He‘d slam doors everywhere he went ,
shatter things ,ring bells and bang into stuffs so he became to be known as
Hurðaskellir ,or the "Door Slammer" He also liked spooking people out.

After him we had someone who found the Icelandic Skyr to be the most delicious
delicacy in the world and as he the Eighth would follow his brothers in lickings ,
he‘d gobble up any and all Skyr he could find. Skyrgámur means Skyr container
but he‘s also known as "Skyr Gobbler" or  "Skyr Glutton".

The Ninth was very fond of sausages which he‘d steal whenever he saw thems.
For this the people dubbed him Bjúgnakrækir or "Sausage Stealer"

The Tenth had a habit of stalking and sneaking up to peek through windows ,
earning him the name Gluggagægir or "Peeper" as he kept peering inside.

The Eleventh had an unusually big nose ,with which he‘d catch the scents
and sniff around for gates or way in. Gáttaþefur they called him or "Sniffer".

Ketkrókur appeared next as the twelfth and stole whatever meats he could.
He‘d be very skilled with hooks which extended far and wide into peoples homes
with which he‘d hook the meats and then run for it like a retard. "Meat Hook".

The last one ,the Thirteenth ,had the bad habit of eating candles which
in those days were made of an edible substance much like bee‘s wax.
He‘d beg for candles and not go away until he be given one he could eat.
That‘s why they called him Kertasníkir , "Candle Eater" or "Candle Beggar"

Last one arriving on the 24th ,they‘d stay a while and then leave ,
as the Yuletide ends on the 6th of January with flares and fireworks.

I just felt like sharing that story so I did ,hope someone enjoyed reading it.

I got a few nice  things for christmas ; pajamas ,a tablet / digital pen ,
some books about knitting ,a crystal pendulum ,an external hard disk drive ,
a lucky award of little monies from a holiday ticket and some more monies.

Myeah ,our Christmas starts at the stroke of 6 pm on the 24th of December.
First we eat ,then we open the presents one by one or however we like ,
depending on who‘s around and what the preferable style is.

At the start of the day it was storming a bit here but then it settled down
and became nice and quiet. At least on the outside. Some ruckus on
the other floors as some be stumbling over their new presents no doubt.

My inner feelings have been coming out a bit more and things are really
looking up for me nows! My time is coming ,just wait and see.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My strange internal struggle of the unexplainable..

I‘ve had some conflicting emotions gradually rising throughout the year of 2011.
The social systems I see have radically different values in contrast to my own ,
people around me don‘t seem to follow the same sort of standards as I do at all.

My mind is more girly and eccentric than I‘ve been showing for most of my life.
Sides of me which have been supressed are coming out slowly ,little by little..

...I see some things I‘d rather not see ,we see more and more during this time
because we have to choose which things we prefer to see in order to make some
changes for the better and if we can‘t see what we know is wrong to us ,
then how could we change it?

I‘m a girl ,but I‘m also a boy. Therein lies most of the struggle.
Most would say that I can‘t be both but what do they know? They‘re all wrong.
If they can't see or wont ,how could they know? I have my ways of seeing things
which would seem utterly bizarre to most I've met ,or those who fit in the system.

The current system has mostly favored the male rulers to be trampling on others
but its slowly changing for the better...I favor rights ,respect ,privacy and mercy..

I‘m more like 2 parts female and 1 part male. The more prevalent outlook
will now start changing more towards the female aspects ,in the year ahead.

In approximately one year I may have brought my feminine side out fully.
Nothing is set in stone...but it‘s my desire to rid myself of the uncomfortable
male aspects like bad odors ,stingy hairs in odd places and various ailments.

I can‘t quite explain it right now why I feel that I‘m 2 parts girl & only 1 part male ,
its simply something I‘ve felt as far back as I can remember.

I‘m comfortably uncomfortable. It sounds really strange but I am! ^^;;

I can also be happy and sad at the same time...I feel that a lot these days.

During my time here I‘ve already changed lots and made lots and lots of progress
toward being more able to live my dreams. And yet I‘m still within this very limited
system of ridiculous rules and laws made up by thems whose values are so
outdated and narrow-minded. We should set up a system in which we don‘t need
laws like that. Just look at the Japanese ,during the disasters they acted orderly
in situations in which most of the western countries would have had riotings..

I aim to become more assertive. At times in the past I‘ve been either too lenient
or in some cases way too harsh and this doesn‘t really suit me.

Anger is a useless emotion in most situations. Fears are defensive mechanisms
and should be used as such. They alert one of potentially hazardous conditions.

The trick is to de-condition. How do we do that? I‘m still learning..

...but someone said that when you de-condition ,you can make things better.

Maybe by assigning your own conditionings?

Or moving through un-needed or unwanted ones?

Much ponderings. I get lonely lots ,despite being in family residenses.
My loneliness is from my lack of intimate contact with lovers whom I‘d like to
cuddle with ,hold hands and go to fun places with among other things.

It didn‘t help much that most of my contacts online have nows gotten married ,
had kids or started living with a random designated lover who isn‘t me.

The system prohibits many lovers or so it would seem. The ones that do are
called names and/or looked down on by most of the people in the system.

I‘d be happy with even just one ,but why stop there? It seems so limited to me
how most things in the system work...alcohol and nicotine kill more than some
of the forbidden drugs it seems ,not that I‘d ever need any of those since I already
gots a naturally occurring substance in my brain ,responsible for dreaming and
near death-experiences aswell as them psychic links to the æther and god.

This substance is actually classified as an illegal drug in lots of places though :o
Its called Di Methyl Tryptamine (DMT) and is used in the pineal gland (Third eye)
You can look it up for yourself and see the truth.

Myes ,I very much believe in god ,as I believe in myself. My perspective of god
may be different from most peoples in a way...but there absolutely is one.

I‘ve studied lots into these things and discoverd lots of remarkable thingies ^o^

Anyways ,back to my strange struggles..
I‘ve gotten myself lots of pretty things ,bought ,traded and found mostly.
Some of them thingies are really girly and remain hidden until I‘m ready to reveal
thems while many of thems I‘ve decorated my room with or wear daily.

They be my trophies ,treasures and delights because of the values I put on thems
by myself. They might not be worth as much to others..
That‘s how a true economy should work!

At times I get strange images in my head of relatives ,people or things I‘ve been
around much which makes me question why it lingers like that.
There have been many non-preferable ones...but..

Its just information and I choose if I wish to act upon it or not and if it‘s unfavorable
then I won‘t need to act upon it should I not wish to.

I‘ve been away most of this month because of games which I‘ve been excited about.
Most my friends play thems and Skyrim is like the game of 2011 so all gamers
know it now me least all the gamers who are up to date on things.


I‘ve also been playing Terraria somewhat. If you‘d like to play Terraria with me ,
drop me a line and I‘ll get into it :3


Besides these ,I‘ve been playing a certain fishing game lots. Its a fun game.

But that‘s about it for nows..

Thank you for reading~!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

And so it begins..

Last night I noticed thick cloudy plume outside ,coming from the floor below.
My first thought was to wonder if the appartment below had caught on fire.
Turns out that a pipe in the geothermal plumming for the heaters had broke.
There was an incident some weeks ago with some small fire causing a ruckus
but this was bigger ,seeing as the appartment below was utterly devastated
by the flaming hot water flowing all over everything and down into the cellar.

This ,like the fire incident ,triggered in me a greater readiness to prepare
proper precautions for myself since there be lots of things which might go
wrong or otherwise cause me to have to get out quickly and maybe leave
the room behind for good. I‘m putting things into the right places more.

Today is the start of the last lineary perceived cycle of influences that is
bigger than a year but there are many smaller ones within as we approach
the turning point in 2012. With ever more going on and connectivity increasing.

I look at it as the last year of my life. I‘ve decided to change in such a way
that I will likely be completely different but better after the year of 2012.
When it has passed I may hold a form of a ceremony and be reborn.

I will very much live my life to its fullest in 2012. With much more activity than
in any of my previous years. This will be a joyous time of many celebrations.
Learning new things ,making new friends ,expanding the horizons.

What would you do differently if you knew you only had one year left to live?
Its very empowering to figure out what you value most and how you go about
doing and getting the things you‘d prefer to experience with a steadfast will.

You can let all your dreams come true if you believe you can do it.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Ghost Lines

I‘ve been away while the internet connections went down ,studying and reorganizing.
Becoming more mobile is key. If you hunker down during the transformational shift ,
it will be much harder to adapt to the coming changes that will strike the world.

As a result of my downtime and things I've rubbed the wrong way without knowing ,
connections and contacts have been reduced for me significantly as of late.
There's also the businesses and sicknesses of some contacts..

It may very well be that most of these contacts I used to be so active with all the time
weren‘t actually of my preferred frequency and that‘s why I have these ghost lines.
I often remember what certain individuals were like and then write to myself as they did
and  that‘s what I call ghosting. They are ghost contacts that are with me in a way.

This is not the most bizzare thing I‘ve been up to. Sometimes I just sit and think.
For hours on end. I‘ve also been doing my best to read into my dreams ,scrying thems.

I had a dream in which I was playing a racing game. First time around I made 3rd place.
Then I made the second place. Finally ,when the reward was the greatest ,I won it.
The racing game was like that of the computer game Wipeout. Hovering superspeeders.

The reorganizing is going well. I‘ve also printed out some mandalas for better balancing
in my surroundings and I‘m sure they‘ve helped me lots. But I would like a better room.
I‘ve printed out more of my fav piccies aswell. Refined my looks a bit. Put things in bags.
There‘s one for my studies ,two for my experiments ,one for survivalist things and then
I also keep lots of things in belts ,straps and pockets. I wish to be able to pick up and go.
Like ,in an instant. The heavy stuffs I‘d leave behind. External hard drives and laptop
along with other electronics would go into anti static bags and into my other baggage.

I'm almost there.

There will be more time to explain better later.

Thank you for reading.